Yes, this took a long time to finish (but finishing was never our strong point.....)

I think that I’m finally ready to sum up the trip. What made the Hawaii trip special was the fact that all of us—players, coaches and chaperones—were focused on one thing—enjoying the National Games experience—and that we did it together. What makes team sports great is when the individuals give all that they can toward a collective goal. We knew going in that we would have a tough time competing against the California and Hawaii teams, so we focused our efforts on being the best that we could, on keeping positive, and on having fun. And that is exactly what happened.

If we were to do this again, and maybe we will, my expectation is that all of us would take the preparation more seriously. As a coach, I would demand more regular attendance at practices, more conditioning work, and I would try to make sure we played more games. I expect that the players would take training more seriously, and try to attend more sessions so that we could work on both skills and team play. And I certainly believe that the players would take conditioning more seriously, after seeing what the National Games did to their bodies.

While we did begin to seem like a team before we left—I’d say that the first half of our second game against Greenburgh was a turning point—the trip itself fostered the team spirit beyond anything that happened in Westchester. I credit the girls for buying into the team concept, the family concept, that I preached. The fact that we had so few adults in Hawaii required us to do pretty much everything as a team. From the beginning of this effort, I tried to treat the players as the young women that they are. I always wanted them to have input into our decisions, even if what they wanted wasn’t always what happened, although we did modify our plans regularly based on what the players wanted. And I always explained to them the reasons for the decisions that were ultimately made. I think that this method resulted in a mutual respect that kept our relationship so generally positive.

So, after we had the scrimmage with the two Hawaii teams, I didn’t have to tell the players that they could play better, or that they needed to play better (although I did—but I knew that they knew it, too). Which is why no one complained about the 7:00 a.m. practice on Sunday, even if they were a bit late, or why the team practiced harder, better and smarter than they ever had before. And why the Tuesday practice was just as good.

The girls also realized pretty quickly that the only people that they could rely on were each other, and the few adults who were with them. I think that they also realized that the adults’ focus was on making sure that they had a good time. Every morning, the girls were told what the plan was for the day, including situations where there would be individual or team options, and every evening, the next day’s schedule was discussed, and at bed check, I would go over the important issues for the next day, take comments and answer questions.

Our forced time together, in the vans, on the field, at meals, etc., caused all sorts of groupings to form, and to some extent broke down the pre-existing cliques. We encouraged the girls to have fun, and to appreciate the opportunity that they had in front of them. So, while the 5 games in competition were important, they never were the only thing that we were striving for.

Nevertheless, as I have gone over the trip in my head, I keep coming back to one moment as a favorite. Not the picnic with the Hawaii teams, or the feeling after we tied Diamond Head. Not receiving the Sportsmanship Award or snorkeling. Not swimming at the beautiful beaches or being at Pearl Harbor. Instead, I keep coming back to right before our first game. I knew the girls were excited, not only because the games were finally about to start, and because we were playing Diamond Head, who we had become friendly with, and because we thought we had a chance to win. I sat the girls down, and for probably the first time, they just listened to me. And I told them how proud I was of them, and how this was the moment that we had worked for. And I made it clear that while I wanted to win, that I would not be disappointed if they lost, but only if they didn’t play hard, and play smart.

And after that, the girls went out and played the soccer of their lives. Tying Diamond Head, and improving each game (whether the results showed that or not), playing hurt and stepping up to cover for each other, while staying positive enough to win the Sportsmanship Award is a credit to the character of the young women on the team. Seeing these kids get bandaged before games so that they could play, tossing away crutches and showing me that they could run, icing themselves on the sidelines and playing unfamiliar positions when their teammates were unable to play was really an inspiration.

Most of you probably know that I spent a lot of time trying to figure out lineups in advance so that I could maximize our chances to compete, while making sure that everyone played as much as possible, and that substitutions would go relatively smoothly. However, as a result of injuries, illness, and talents that had previously been hidden, after the first quarter of game 1, this all went by the boards, and we had to improvise. From the 2 sweepers, 3 backs, 4 midfielders and one striker lineup we tried in one game, to having to play our third goalkeeper, to having Geena play “random offense” when we were desperate to score, and numerous other experiments and lineups by necessity, the team, for the most part, did what I asked, when I asked, and rose to the occasion.

After every game, the players walked, limped or were carried off the field with heads held high, proud of their efforts and, I believe, reveling in the realization that they could achieve more than they ever thought.

At our team’s closing dinner, I said that what made this special for me, initially, was that I was able to do it with my daughter, but that I now felt that I had 15 daughters, and I still feel that way. I hope that they all know that I am there for them if they need me, and I would expect that I could rely on them if I needed help.

So, I hope this isn’t the end of this adventure. I expect we will have some team reunions. And while I know that not everyone is playing AYSO this season, I hope that the core of the team will be able to do something as a team again—we will see. I would also hope that you tentatively block out July 4, 2010, and the week after, in case we get a U19G invitation to the National Games in Palm Beach, Florida (at the International Polo Club, no less).

Finally, I wanted to thank all of the parents who made it possible for this special group of girls to become a team, and an ohana, and go on the trip. I want to thank Kate Wall for dealing with the money, a truly thankless job, and to Eugenie Allen, for organizing our team’s concession sales. I want to thank Jim Huvane for his help and counsel, Hossein Fassa for all of the hard work he did as Regional Commissioner to make this happen (much more than I ever did for National Games teams when I was RC) and Peter and Beth Van der Heijden for all that they did to organize things. I’d like to thank my captains, Sarah and Sara (and the rest of you who were team leaders—you know who you are) for helping to keep order, harmony and organization. I want to thank Adam Becker, not only for his astute soccer insights and for helping with the heavy lifting (even with only one good hand), but also for being the team “big brother.” I want to thank Ginger Curran for all that she did to help prepare the team to compete, for her questioning of my strategic decisions, which forced me to really understand what I was trying to do, and especially for dealing with our injured and sick players at the tournament. And finally, I need to thank Katharine, for doing everything that otherwise would have fallen through the cracks, for caring about the girls as much as she did, and for just being her usual amazing self.